A Shaking

“What makes you come alive?” is a question that has haunted me for decades. If you would have asked me three years ago I would have said, and said with vigor, Strong Tower.

Here I am three years later realizing that it doesn’t.

Being able to confess that fact has been a deload. The weight of pretending that Strong Tower as a brick and mortar, group class, gym fulfills that deep longing within me is now leaving me.

I admitted as much to my Head Coach. She, in her awkward wisdom, told me that I have been managing someone else’s dream for the last three years. I never had a chance to build mine.

I feel light and free now.

I feel like I am allowed to dream again. To adventure again. To risk again.

I understand why some are taking radical, disobedient actions to keep their gyms and well-being alive. So it is with GREAT caution that I say I am also thankful for this shutdown.

It has been a much needed shaking for me.

God has snapped me out of my fixed gaze and I’ve turned my eyes. And I see now.I’ve been working. But I have not been on mission. I’ve been busy. But I have not been called.

I’m so thankful for old friends and new ones who are willing to wrestle through this new adventure together. I’m thankful for the wisdom of others and how freely they share it.

I think we will ever look back on this time in our collective lives and missions and see it as a critical intersection.

This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be rememberèd— We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother;

William Shakespeare, Henry V, Act IV

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